I posted the other day about feelings of being dismissed and feeling incomplete in the conversation with the ending of certain relationships in my life.
Through meditating I realized that it is the wound of the inner child being touched… again… the deeper layers having an opportunity to heal more.
A day or so later, I had another realization about these situations.
These people said something about why they were ending the relationship and something in me just couldn’t let it rest.
I think I’m mentally masterbating over it when really I’m feeling the “offness” of the reasons they gave.
You see, I am highly intuitive and empathic. This means I can read people and feel their emotional state and I KNOW when I am being bull shitted or lied to. The issue for me comes when I don’t trust it or I dismiss it and listen to the words, because I want to believe what they are telling me.
I want to believe their words, when their actions are saying something totally different and not matching their actions.
We are often told to watch a persons actions, they speak louder than their words. It is most often true.
Most of my life I listened to the words, because it was what I told myself I wanted to hear.
Inevitably, I believed the words and wondered why I was left feeling like I did something wrong, when the actions were telling me something different all along.
AND, let me be very clear here, I lived this way (NOT walking my talk) UNTIL I began knowing myself and trusting my own intuition.
It’s been what feels like a very long journey into loving myself from the inside out and I continue on the journey, because clearly, I still doubt myself at times.
I’m still learning to trust my intuition and empathic abilities.
This time what came to me was what the words said at the conclusion of our relationship, is BS.
It is not the whole truth and beyond this, I don’t need to know. I think I need to know or I’ll feel better if I know. I won’t…
And more than that is they may not even know or realize it themselves yet, the truth about why they felt it necessary to end it.
I am continuing to let it go. I remind myself we each have our own journey.
People come into our lives for a reason, season or a lifetime…
There is ALWAYS a higher purpose I may not know yet, if ever. Sometimes, I know in hindsite…
When the doubt comes:
~I look for all the evidence that reminds me I can trust myself and the messages I recieve intuitively and empathically.
~I remember I have never been steered wrong.
~When I didn’t listen, I quickly learned my intuition was accurate.
~I check in with people I trust and that know me well, they help me see a different perspective.
I have learned to coach myself, which is helpful when I am mentally masterbating over something.
PLEASE share these writings and help me reach more people, especially if you find value in what you read.
How do you shift your perspective when you are in doubt?