I was speaking to a very dear friend the other day and we were talking about the people that appear to act differently versus those that make sustainable lasting changes by healing the wounds inside.
I was sharing how people think they’ve changed because they act different under normal circumstances.
I have heard people say they take my suggestions and teachings to heart and apply them to their life.
BIG FAT EGO FEED!!!!
Yes, I truly appreciate that what I am sharing and teaching gets applied in their life, it is an honor to know I am heard and my experience is valuable.
However, when the rubber meets the road and life shows up the way it does, have the changes been lasting or are they momentary based on the need for approval?
I lived my life as a chameleon, so this is a well researched topic I am speaking to.
I changed my behavior based on circumstance and what would gain the most approval or acceptance from others.
My insides were MEASURED by others OUTSIDES.
I pretezelized myself in many and any contorted way to get my needs met, because I had nothing of my own merit to measure by.
Today, this is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
You see, there is internal work required to make these lasting changes.
There are times that desire for approval shows up, it is short lived and has NO lastability in my brain.
When life delivers a curve ball, the internal healing and changes I have made are sustainable. When the rubber meets the road, it is solid and I show up as who I am today.
When we only change our behavior AND life shows up, so does the original programming and need for approval or acceptance.
If we have not healed the original wound that created this kind of behavior then we are only remodeling the outside. The foundation is still rotting and shaky.
For example, if a house has mold in the walls, it MUST be erradicated or it continues to rot the insides of the house. The same is true about our internal wounds. We can bury them DEEPLY. They still continue eroding our insides and they usually surface in some way.
Life is life.
How we respond or react to it is based on our life programming which almost always stems from our childhood.
It comes from what we were taught, the messages we internalized and made our own.
If we do nothing to alter or heal the orignal programming, I have found the behavioral changes are unsustainable.
When the original wound gets poked, we will revert to our same behaviors created from them.
We may think we are different, we may even act different, BUT when we get honest with ourselves:
Does the inside and outside match?
Do our words and actions line up together?
Are we being AUTHENTIC on every level?
OR Are we simply fooling ourselves into believing we’ve made sustainable changes?
Making sustainable life altering transformation is an INSIDE JOB.
Nothing outside of us is sustainable, no matter how much we believe it is.
Life has a way of happening and we tend to think if we just behave differently, we are truly different.
When the inside feelings are out of alignment, that “old behavior” is what comes through when the going gets tough.
By now, maybe you’re asking “Well, then, how do I heal from the inside out?”
Before I make this writing any longer, I’ll follow up with another writing to address the inside job.
Another option, if you already know you are ready, you can go the the contact page to contact me for a complimentary consultation.
Marti (Hicks) Forrest