This is my last week I travel to Modesto to work.
I’ve been making this drive to take care of my clients and business
there, since I moved to Lincoln, which is approximately 100 miles
away. I been making the drive for the past 6 years now.
Modesto is my home town and I built a business there for my whole
life. When I moved to Lincoln, I knew eventually I’d leave the business behind
and fully plant my roots where I live now.
The time has come to make the full transition. This is the final
time I will confirm all my appointments, pack up my car and drive
the 100 miles. BONUS: I do get to stay with my mom when I’m there.
This morning I woke up totally emotional and all over the map.
One might think this would be a totally great adventure, I planned
it this way and I knew it was coming, so why do I feel so upset?
It’s called grieving what was and letting go of a significant part
of my life and the income I’ve depended on, even though quitting is a
good thing and full of possibility.
I know it is time to be moving forward here. I am SUPER excited to
do that and I’ve JUMPED into the abyss of the unknown. I have no
tangible safety net that I can see.
I’m trusting based on nudges I’m getting from Spirit and the evidence of my whole life that shows me, I’ve always made it and I’ve always been successful. NO MATTER WHAT!!
My emotions have run the gammut of amok. They are ALL OVER the place.
I’m excited, sad, scared, happy, terrified, crying…
You name it, I am pretty sure it has shown up.
I am writing and sharing this as part of my process through it. I get
to simply be with all the feelings and emotions that are showing up.
I get to walk through the fear and KNOW I am okay, even though I am
unable to see that yet.
I have spent a good portion of my life allowing the fear to immobilize
me from taking any action, until the pain was too great. Then, the
ability to take the action outweighed the pain and fear.
HUGE growth for me is I’m FEELING the FEELINGS, instead of hiding them
under my default emotion of anger. I’m actually feeling them mostly.
I have found myself eating them in some ways. It shows up as me
eating when I’m not really hungry.
There are so many things in life that happen, changes come and go.
New jobs, leaving old jobs, marriages, divorces, babies, death…
You get the idea. Many of us just move on and push through with no
real acknowledgement of the signicant changes that happen. We simply
go from one to another without any time acknowledging, much less grieving, the CHANGES.
Many of us don’t like even like change. The simple word CHANGE evokes many charged
feelings and emotions for people. Yet, as the saying, goes the only constant in life is change.
How do you embrace it or ignore it?
Do you acknowledge all the feelings that come with it?
Do you allow yourself to grieve the moments that produce these significant changes?
If you are ready to embrace ALL of you, I have an opening to take you on as a client.
I offer private coaching for those ready to live life in a different way.
Marti (Hicks) Forrest