I can tell you most of my life was spent living in self-doubt.
I’ve healed A LOT of wounds in my life and transformed MUCH of the damage.
It has been quite the journey. I live mostly in a place of self-love and confidence today.
However, every once in a while life throws me a curveball and shakes me to my core.
My dad died last year and I lived in the grief and anger for a number of months, but I was not shaken to my core the way I have been now.
I had a person I thought was my friend and confidant inform me that what I had done for them was NOT ENOUGH. I, also, was told I was disrespectful and I used them. This is the readers digest version of the whole litany of how what I had done made them feel. (I am using they and them to remain confidential about the WHO.)
I strive every single day of my life to be authentically transparent in my world and my interactions with the people in it.
This incident ROCKED me to my core.
Have you ever experienced something like this happening?
As a result, I have doubted and questioned myself, who I am and how I show up in the world.
Am I really authentically transparent?
Do I truly live the way I think I do in my life?
Each day, I can feel the doubt creeping into my consciousness. It’s been the APP running in the background of my life these last few weeks since the conversation.
I can see the effect coming out sideways in my behavior and reaction to things happening around me. I’m taking things personal, I’m doubting that I’m showing up the way I perceive myself showing up.
I can see both sides of the circumstance. I can understand how they felt the way they did. I can see the opportunity of deeper layers of healing for me and the little one that lives inside me.
I get ALL THE LOGIC of it. However, LOGIC NEVER TRUMPS FEELINGS.
I can still feel the doubt creeping in. It is a lesser degree today and it is still showing up.
Here is what I’ve been doing to MOVE FORWARD:
I KEEP SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE.
I DO WHAT I COMMITTED TO DOING.
I CONTINUE WRITING AND SHARING WITH YOU.
I DO THE THINGS THAT SCARE ME OR I’M AFRAID OF DOING.
I TRUST THE EVIDENCE THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
What do you do when this happens in your life?